Greg Bellan

Nearly Impossible Parenting Task #3,720

The BoysThe weekends are awesome.  I don’t have to go to work and I get to spend time with my family.  Both my boys (especially my oldest) LOVE going to Home Depot.  They’ve got these awesome carts there that look like a NASCAR which allows both boys to “drive” around the store.

So this past weekend the three of us gave Mom some alone time and we headed off to “The Depot”.  One thing that I forgot to mention is that my oldest is currently potty training.  He’s only been at it for a couple of weeks now and he’s doing very well.  In fact, he’s doing so well that he’s completely out of diapers except for nap time and bed time. That includes trips to Home Depot (see where this is going yet?)

So we’re in tool isle looking at cool guy stuff and the little man looks at me and says, “Daddy, I need to go to the potty.”  Please excuse the pun… but CRAP.  I can’t not take him to the bathroom and I can’t ask him to hold it.  I also can’t leave his brother sitting outside the bathroom in this huge NASCAR looking cart and the damn cart it too big to bring in with me.  So… in we go.

Now I won’t go into all of the details but trust me when I tell you it’s pretty damn difficult to get a (near) 3 year old undressed and on the potty while at the same time keeping his 1 year old brother off the floor.  Especially when he wants nothing more than to get… away… from… Dad.  I’ll tell you now what I told their mother when I got home.  I did it.  I don’t know how, but I did it.  We managed to avoid the accident, keep everyone devoid of public bathroom germs and no one even got bloody in the process.  We even managed to flush AND wash our hands.  I’ve gotta tell you, I felt like SuperDad that day.  That is until I got home and Mom informed me that I ALWAYS need to line the toilet seat with tissue.

Dammit… so close.

PS – Special props to those who know the relevance of 3,720.  This (of course) is the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field.  But don’t tell Han Solo that 😉

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